FROM THE DESK OF EDITOR IN CHIEF

                                                            this is all I have to say

 
 

 

In the name of Allah the most Gracious the most Merciful, and may the peace and blessings be upon the messenger of Allah and upon his family and companions and whoever has been guided to the right path, Amen.

Dear Readers!

Greetings from Islamabad and welcome to the August issue of this year.

August 4, 2013, 27th of Ramadan ul Mubarak 1434 Hijri will always be remembered as a day that brought huge sorrow and grief in the life of family and friends of our beloved Mohtrama Sehr Nadeem Farrukh, who left us to be with HIM, who is the One and the Only Lord/Rabb ul Alamin, for all Universe, its Creator, Owner, Organizer, Provider, Master, Planner, Sustainer, Cherisher, Giver of Security, and the Most Gracious & Most Merciful.

On the fourth death anniversary of my beloved sister Sehr, I wish If she could somehow hear me.

I would tell her that she has left a void in my life – a void that cannot be filled with any consolation and gets more abysmal and ominous as I plunge myself deeper into the memories of us.

I would tell her how I spend my hours trudging down the memory lane where I stop every now and then and watch her as she was. As beautiful as her name and as precious as the memories she left behind.

I would tell her that my eyes long to see the soft smile that played on her lips as she woke me up every morning.

I would tell her how I long to hear her subtle, drawn-out "Helloo" whenever she answered the phone.

But most of all I would tell her how I feel my heart skip a beat every single night when I step out into the lawn and hear my little cousin point to the brightest star in the sky and scream "SEHR !"

If only I had told her once, just once, that I loved her and that she was irrefutably the most amazing sister anyone could ever wish for…

If only she could hear me now. Watch me tormented by the thoughts of being without her. Fighting oblivion. Wishing time would reverse.

How can you forget someone who inspired you in so many ways? Who still lives in memories so vivid that they refuse to let you move on? How can you be strong enough to let go when there was so much left unspoken? I guess at times like these, the reality of life hits you straight in the face and you realize that people are worth all the time you have to spare because once they go, you can’t have it your way. They can never return to hear you say the words unsaid. They are not the assets you refuse to give away or the stars you can see every night. They are simply gone.

But in the end, I find comfort in knowing that this is all Allah’s plan and we are mere beings with an allotted time and role. We cannot outlast HIS great plan. We cannot change the fate we were born with nor can we change it for those we love. We can, however, pray for our fate to have as many blessings as HE can grant. We can ask HIM to provide us with an easier and idyllic path to reach the final destination which HE has determined for us.

Time, a great healer, is just another one of HIS blessings. It picks us up when we refuse to get up and takes us so far away from our agony that the memories, that once felt nothing but a stab to our already wounded hearts, turn into joyful recollection of a time well spent. The power to deal with loss and find peace is not selfishness; it is a gift from HIM to us feeble creatures. And the ache of bidding farewell is not a punishment. It is a test, a challenge. For "without pain, how would we know joy?"

"Farewell to Thee! But not farewell
To all my fondest thoughts of Thee;
Within my heart they still shall dwell
And they shall cheer and comfort me."

My dad always says; we all are young for a while but Sehr will remain young forever. This is all I have to say, on the third Death Anniversary of my beloved sister and founding editor in chief of this magazine.

 

Thank You all for being with us, see you all, next month, with the next issue In Shaa Allah, Godspeed & Stay Blessed.
 

Sarah Nadeem Zaigham

Editor In Chief

Islamabad - Pakistan

 
     
 

COVER STORY

a personality with a difference - 4th death anniversary

 
 

 

 
 


 Mohtrama Sehr Nadeem Farrukh RIP

                           Sarah Nadeem Zaigham

 
 

 

 

 

 

Biography

Tribute - Nadeem Zaigham

Tribute - Sarah Nadeem Zaigham

Tribute - Marium Khawer

Tribute - Wajiha Bilal

Tribute - Ma'am Farida Zaman

Tribute - Uzma Khan

Tribute - Jia Ali



- Biography


Name: Sehr Nadeem Farrukh
 

Born: August 21,1985

 

Departed: August 04, 2013

Designation: International Education Consultant

Profession:
Education Management & Consulting, Writing, Editing & Publishing.

 

Sehr with her mother Basharat & husband Farrukh

 

Family:

- Daughter of Dr. Nadeem Zaigham M.Sc. Ph.D., Managing Director & Principal Consultant NASTAC Inc. USA & Dr. Basharat Nadeem M.A. Ph.D., Principal & Director Resource Academia Capital Campus, Islamabad.
 

- Married to Farrukh Mahboob, Head of Product Management & Business Strategy, Global eCommerce at Staples Inc. USA.
 

- Sister of Sarah Nadeem Zaigham, Clinical Psychologist. 

 

- Paternal Grand Daughter of Professor Saeed Ahmed, Former Vice Principal Cadet College Petaro Pakistan.

 

- Maternal Grand Daughter of Syed Imdad Hussain Shah Bukhari.

Sehr at her Toronto office

 

Last Assignments:

 

- Executive Director & Consultant - Futurewise Inc. Canada

- Director & Consultant - NASTAC Inc. USA

- Editor In Chief - 'Intellect' online family magazine, Canada

- Editor In Chief - The Petarian Mag, Pakistan
 

Sehr at her Islamabad office

 

Previous Assignments:

 

- Manager Corporate Relations Center/ Placement Manager - FAST-NUCES

- Public Relations Manager - Allainet

- Career Officer - Bahria University Headquarters Islamabad

- Lecturer - English Department
Islamabad Model College for Girls, F-10/2 Islamabad

- Web Event Management Services' Support Specialist
Software Productivity Strategists Inc. USA

- Lecturer - English Department
Islamabad College for Girls, F-6/2 Islamabad

- Project Team Lead - British Council's Beyond Borders Program
 

Sehr at University of Toronto

 

Studied At:

- Bahria College, Karachi

- Islamabad Model College for Girls F-10/2, Islamabad

- Islamabad College for Girls (University of Punjab) F-6/2 Islamabad

- University of Toronto, Canada

Certification:

ITAC (ICEF Trained International Education Consultant)

Publications:

- Co Author - Maigh Malhaar, a publication on Classical Music

- Co Author - 99 Names, a publication on 99 Names of Allah

 

Last Facebook Status:

 

beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn't make any sense. ____Rumi
 

Sehr resting in peace at Islamabad

 

Departure:

She felt severe pain in the back of her neck on the afternoon of 21st Ramadan Ul Mubarak 1434 Hijri (July 29, 2013) at her Toronto home. She was taken to Trillium Health Center, Toronto Canada where she remained in coma till the 27th of Ramadan Ul Mubarak 1434 Hijri ( August 4, 2013) and departed the same day, to be with HIM the most beneficent, the most merciful and the master of the day of judgment, whom SHE loved the most. We are indebted to HIM for blessing HER the opportunity to be with HIM on the blessed night of Leila Tul Qader.

 

Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raji'un
Surely we belong to Allah and to HIM shall we return.



 

Tribute - Nadeem Zaigham

 

 

The Fourth Anniversary of Sehr's Departure To Be With Rabb ul Alamin.

Sehr My Darling Daughter,


Today it is the fourth anniversary of your departure to be with Rabb ul Alamin. In these four years, we have suffered, ached, and been stuck and unsure. We lost faith for a while; everything we had ever relied upon to be true, just, and safe was called into question. It was gutting; it was awful. However, I want to tell you on this day that I have also changed since the day you departed, in positive ways that I never thought possible. Thank you, God, for bringing those positive changes in my life.

Sehri, two of the most profound life experiences for me were the day when you came into the world as my daughter and the day you left my world. On the day you were born, I remember gazing at the miracle in my arms and thinking life was complete. You came in screeching and howling and we all knew you were a fighter. Feisty and full of life. You were that way your entire twenty-seven years, and challenged me at every turn; I admired your intensity. The day you left this world, you left quickly and quietly, and the black hole that was created in my life by your absence became a shrieking and sucking force that came close to pulling the life out of me. However, Sehr, what I am proud to tell you today is that ultimately, it did not. That was not going to be your legacy.

When you left, I just had three choices: I could die, I could exist, or I could live. Choosing to live seemed impossible, yet something inside of me knew that it was the only true course. It was not easy, Honey. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. However, it was the only real option in my life. Moreover, it was the best way I knew to carry you with me and honor the life you had while you were here.

While I would give anything to have you back, I have found ways to live with the loss. I have learned to find a new relationship with you as a wisdom being or an angel. I am reconciled with life and death being just points along a continuum. You are gone, separate, and yet still nearby. I look to you for guidance and comfort as often as I look to God. Now that I am open to it, I see signs of you everywhere. When I sit quietly outside on the terrace as I am doing now, I know that you are not too far away. Are you listening to the birds calling to each other over the Margalla Hills? Are you watching this magnificent morning with me? I feel that you are. This is comforting. Separate, yet still nearby.

With all the hope, promise, courage and inspiration I have been fortunate to find these four years, I will continue to move through life and be present to all of its beauty. I will be there for your sister and your mother. I will continue to grow and to honor you by fully engaging in life and love. I am deeply grateful for the gifts that I have received from working through grief during these four years. But as you also know, Sehri, all that said, I'll still watch the sun set on August 4th and wish that rather than having you in my computer that I had my arms around you, stroking your hair, chatting about your day and planning for tomorrow.

I am grateful that you loved me, and that I loved you. That you loved all of us, and that for all these years, the gift of your presence, even in absence, knits us together. That you did your best to protect us, even though we could not protect you. In addition, wonder of wonders, death not only cannot kill love, it cannot keep it from growing.

Sehri, our darling...you were with us, you are with us and you will always remain with us every moment of our life, although we all are young for a while, you will remain young forever. Thank you for being in our life, blessings of Allah be upon you, Amen. I won't say goodbye. I'll just say, until we meet again.

Fee Amaan Illah with all my love.

Dad


 

 

My Sehr Leaving Home - a poem on her departure

 

 

Daughters are a source of immeasurable joy for her parents. Long before a daughter is born, she is deeply loved. Daughters are often a mother's best friend, her ally, and her most precious treasure. For a father, a daughter is often the apple of his eye, his princess. It is no surprise then, that a parent's love for a daughter is so intense and selfless. For this reason, the loss of a daughter can bring on a range of difficult emotions including numbness, guilt, anger, emptiness, disbelief and deep sadness.

Death of a daughter doesn’t make you sad–it makes you empty. That’s what’s so bad about it. All of your charms and beliefs and funny habits fall fast through a big black hole, and suddenly you know they’re gone because just as suddenly, there’s nothing at all left inside.

- After receiving the conformed news of Sehr's departure at mid night (August 4, 2013 - August 5, 2013), I wrote a message to one of her schoolmate Hira who had been constantly asking about her:

"Hira, now I have no reason to live. I lost half of my life the day she got married and now I am all dead...."
8/5, 2:43 am
Nadeem Zaigham

- 'My Sehr Leaving Home' was written after sending this message, at a moment when I was dead, depressed, disappointed, dejected at the loss of not only my daughter BUT a close friend, buddy, confidant, personal advisor, professional advisor, business partner, co worker and a girl friend......and immediately uploaded the poem on my face book personal page.

- Moments after I uploaded the poem, I received the following message from the same schoolmate of Sehr that gave me a new life, strength, courage and energy to bear this loss and face it bravely....I am indebted to this pretty schoolmate of Sehr, who is also very close to my heart, and will always remain in my thoughts and prayers..... Thank you for giving me a reason to live.

"You're a strong man...and above all ur a strong dad. If you’ll loose strength like this tau hamara kia hoga...
Remember you're a Hero. Seri's Hero..."
8/5, 3:08 am
Hira

My Sehr Leaving Home - a poem on her departure

Although she is moving out
She'll never be far away
She'll always live here with me
In my heart each day

It's so very hard to let her go
But I know that I must
I have so much faith in her
And a world of trust

I know she's smart enough
To make it on her own
It's hard to admit
My little girl has finally grown

I hope she knows in her heart
Just how much I care
Because every time she needed me
I always tried to be there

It's never very easy
Watching someone you love leave
I know that I must be strong
But silently I'll grieve

Someone who's been around
Morning, noon and night
No longer having her here
Just will not seem right

But she knows I love her
With all of my heart
And it's that love
That will never let us part

Sehr Our Darling.....you were with us, you are with us and you will always remain with us every moment of our life, and we all are young for a while but you will remain young for ever.Thank you for being in our life, blessings of Allah be upon you, Amen. I won't say goodbye. I'll just say, until we meet again........ Fee Amaan Illah.

Dad-


Tribute - Sarah Nadeem Zaigham

 

My Dearest Sehr!

 

I have died everyday waiting for you, darling don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. You’re an angel dressed in armor; you’re the fair in every fight.

Your my life & my save harbor where the sun sets every-night and if my love is blind, I don’t want to see the light cause its your beauty that betrays you, your smile gives you away, cause your made of strength & mercy & my soul is now yours to keep.

I know this much is true when my world was dark & blue & the only one who rescued me was you. Every single beat in my heart is now yours to keep. In the wrong place trying to make it right, but I’m tired of justifying so I will say to you * come home come home…. I have been waiting for you for so long so long & right now there’s a war between vanities & all I see is you & me & the fight for you is all I have ever known*.

So many nights trying to hide inn but now I stay awake just pleading for more. To think that this heart was divided, I’m loosing sleep because I can’t ignore. Feeling your touch all around, in peace & hearing your sound. Silence around us, I’m so glad we found us this way. When you sleep here in my arms where the world just shuts down for a while & you came to me finding peace & believe in this life.

Beautiful! I will always have 4 biggest regrets in my whole life till death takes me away;

- I wish I was there in Toronto with you in the same room where you first went into coma. I just wished every second to see you how you were & how well were you doing. I wanted to say loads of things to you before your departed. I wish I was there with you & I swear on my life you would have definitely survived.

- It was too late to tell you that I graduated in 1st division/ distinction on your birthday which turned out to be a blissful day & was too excited to tell you that I got 95/100 in Geography just like you did when you graduated & were of my age.

- You will now never be able to see me grow up as a young mature woman. I just wished that you stayed for a little while to see me how I turned out to be when I came into your present age.

- You will not be at my wedding & would never be able to see my children but I assure you that my kids will weep & regret to have lost an outstanding Aunt who would have turned them into rock-stars for sure. If ever in the future if God blesses me with a daughter I’ll make sure she turns out to be an exact replica of you so that I never feel your absence at any moment.

No-body in this world can love you more than I do & will always love you for-ever. I know your in heaven wearing white & your hair tied up into a bun & your dancing around like you always did & your making people smile & laugh around with your humor & charismatic smile.

The cruel world tried to separate us & break our strong bond but I assure you that they can never ever love you as much as I do & like I said that the fight for you is all I have ever know. I would stick to that goal for ever till I meet you in eternity.

I am and will always remain your best friend, your soul mate, your partner & far most you’re proud sister.

 


Tribute - Marium Khawer

 

Sehr – A Personality With A Difference

“Dhoondo Ge Agar Mulkon Mulkon
Milne Ke Nahin Nayaab Hain Hum”

“Even if you search from nation to nation. You won’t find me, for I’m an extinct rarity.”


If there’s anyone who impeccably embodied the essence of this famed Sufi song it was Sehr Nadeem Zaigham.

Even as an alien spectator who has only monitored her life through numerous Facebook posts by her doting friends and family after her untimely demise, I found myself relating to her. She was a stylish yet simple girl, both antiquated and contemporary in her thinking. She had modern tastes which was evident in her liking for the popular TV show, F.R.I.E.N.D.S and she was even connected with culture and traditions through her love for Bulleh Shah. She was beautiful, and her beauty did not only reflect in her looks but it was obvious in the way she thought, in her dreams, in her strength, in her concern for others, in her intellect, in her humor. She carried both sides of life very well; she managed to be sensible and fun at same time.

Sehr, who completed her higher education from University of Toronto was a daddy’s girl at heart. She called her father by a unique and adorable name “AbuDad” and did not leave any aspect of life in which she could not make her “AbuDad”, Mr. Nadeem Zaigham, proud. Her caring father has all her records till date so chronically well documented.

Death is always an agonizing journey but some people who are so exceedingly pure of heart part ways from us sooner than we think. May Allah give her family strength and the contentment of knowing that their Big Bird has flown to her real home.

 


Tribute - Wajiha Bilal

 

My Best Friend Till The End of Time


YOU LEFT US BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES,
YOUR LOVE IS STILL OUR GUIDE,
AND THOUGH WE CANNOT SEE YOU,
YOU ARE ALWAYS AT OUR SIDE.
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN THIS HEART OF MINE
MY BEST FRIEND TILL THE END OF TIME


Sitting by the window, looking at the trees and watching the clouds quietly form a blanket to cover the light blue sheet I was thinking about how heavy the rain would be but my friend while playing with her pen and putting designs onto the blank sheet asked me if I really thought she was a fairy.

''hmmm, why are you calling yourself a fairy?'' I asked.

"I mean you heard the English teacher right! She said that if we were to play some part for the play you could be the girl and I would be the fairy in the story wearing a long dress and delicately...Do you really think that I look like a fairy? she enquired.

''You are so tall, lean and beautiful of course you will do great as a fairy'' I told her.

"I think its only my height , she just said that because a tall girl would do a better job as a fairy.''

I was still looking outside the window and after a pause she asked again," why only me? Why did she say a fairy? I think maybe I carry myself like a princess or a fairy'' she asked again and I assured her "Of course you are a princess , this morning when you were coming from the gate I thought I saw a fairy I mean I rubbed my eyes and pinched my arm to check if I wasn't dreaming but as the fairy came closer it was you, I said Oh its Sehr, Hiii!" we laughed and then we got busy with planning for the play.

I did not realize that ten years from then I would be assuring myself not Sehr that she really is a fairy living in the sky. I can never forget Sehr as she was the only friend I had when I was living all by myself away from my family in the hostel for my studies. She would always call me her baby and told me that I never had to miss anything as long as I had her by my side and she was so right as she was the best company.

We were so busy making everything fun that we had no time to think about anything else. We would laugh the whole day and celebrate every moment so much so that when I went to her funeral I couldn't make myself believe that she had died even that day was a proof that she had actually lived and LIVE was all we did in our college days. She always put her arm around my neck and roamed around fighting with anyone who called us 'gulli danda'(because of our height difference).

She was the sunshine for my life at a time when I really needed a friend and now her beautiful memories are the bright rays of hope for me. A princess in body and a fairy in spirit, I pray and wish that the delicate fairy's spirit has flown to the highest skies and found peace and happiness there. May her soul rest in peace, Amen.

 


Tribute - Ma'am Farida Zaman

 

Sehr - a personality with a difference

Sehr a breath of fresh air, always smiling full of high spirits and truly a happy go lucky child.

Respectful ,obedient willing and ready worker ,one you could easy depend upon. Now that I look back she was amazing, full of positivity full of bright ideas never giving up on any situation and she would always have solutions. A great mind. A brilliant student, I remember showing her paper to class as an example of outstanding work.

A soft spoken person, never ever rude to any one never in an argument or fight. Sehr a fun loving person with amazing fan following ,her friends and students being her fans. I think the whole world was her friend and now I was also her friend more than her teacher. And I am going to miss her friendship and I don't think I ever had a student like her outstanding, co operative, and as I was her class teacher she was always there to help me with certain responsibilities of a class teacher. I can go on and on with personal experiences also but I am to say one thing I'll never forget her happy smiling face. Her page on face book makes it obvious that she was loved by so many people.

 

Sehr you certainly saddened us but consolation is in the fact that your short life was filled with love and happiness, and you had a full complete life. Be happy wherever you may be, I am certain entertaining and pleasing your friends in that world too.

 


Tribute - Uzma Khan

 

Her Light Glows Within Me

Words cannot begin to convey how devastated I am at the loss of such a charismatic, loving and beautiful young lady Sehr. I was very impressed with her drive and integrity. She was full of life and love, and lived with a spirit of lightness and generosity. I admired her courage and determination and her infectious laugh. I will always and always remember her smiling face and kind Hello, as I walked through the halls of Bahria University. Her light glows within me and my memories now. In her much too short time on earth, she touched so many hearts. She was an inspiration to all who knew her. She truly was a gem of a lady. With her love and endearing spirit she changed the world for so many people. Her legacy will live on in all of us who were privileged to know her.

I'm sure the loss, sadness and memories will linger with family and friends whose lives were made joyous with her love of life. She truly was a special and amazing young girl who will be sadly missed.

May Allah comfort all of you and the other members of your family as you struggle through the dark days of this terrible loss. Our hearts are broken as we try to imagine your sadness. Sehr was so lucky to have you for her family - you gave her a quality of life that she deserved to have and you gave it generously on a daily basis. We believe that Sehr will always be with you in spirit and hope that brings you some comfort. May Allah hold all of you in the palm of His hand.

 


Tribute - Jia Ali

 

An Arranged Meeting

I met Seher once, and once was enough to be swept away by her girlish charm. I remember meeting her one hot summer night in Islamabad. My family and I had gone to her intimate home to discuss my role in the paper. I was warned that she was not an average young girl; very intellectual and wise. I immediately raised my eyebrows and considered myself warned for what I was about to face.

However, all that worrying was fruitless; she was so benign; the most memorable thing about her was her warmth. As soon as she saw me she smiled and her eyes glowed with almost a maternal care; as if she knew she was about to sway this girl from America under her protective wings. She could see I was intimidated and a bit nervous to commit to writing. She immediately deviated from writing all together and we talked about what normal girls talk about; shopping! Her room looked as if it belonged to any “American college girl.” It was filled with PINK’s stuff animals and music posters; it was kind of comforting.

Then, we eased into politics and how life is different for young girls in Pakistan and America. It was definitely an intellectual conversation; one of the most thought provoking I’ve ever conversed in, but it was not hostile or debate-ish at all. We agreed on most things and finally came to a conclusion that I should write an article once a month at my own pace, no pressure. The article could be about anything and of any length; it was really the most comfortable journalist jobs I could get at that time.

We ended on a very happy note and made a unanimous decision over chai. Of course the dining table was amply filled with all my favorite kinds of Pakistani delicacies; samosas, mithai, and Gourmet cookies. I left her home after a filling cup of tea and snacks feeling secure about my decision.

After meeting her once and hearing about her death, I felt extreme regret; regret because I did not get to spend more time with her or even say good-bye. I never thought she would just slip away. And it is in moments like these it is hardest to be thankful to God; to truly believe that everything happens for a reason.

My condolences to her friends and family who lost a loving daughter, a sister, and a friend.